A phase and Change

I'm not sure if this is just a phase, a phase which everyone goes through. You know, something I'll get over eventually. Because if isn't then I 'm doomed.

Have you experienced this? Yung feeling na, you're not getting anywhere. That you're stuck right where you are now? Everybody's moving on but you are not. It's a saying that the only permanent thing in the world is change. Ha! How come everything's the same from where I am. 

I am still that 20-year old virgin who's experienced nothing in life! Still stuck at home, this same house, with the same people. Still getting scolded by parents for the same reason I get scolded in high school.  That same girl who doesn't come out of the house much and has no friends on their neighborhood. A college graduate who's been unemployed for almost a year now. Who always send her resume everywhere but chickens out every time she got calls for interview. The person who's always missing out on reunions and night outs with lame excuses. A girl who can't maintain a lasting relationship because, I don't know, she's too scared? 

The other day, I went out with two of my best friends. Both of them are working, even though one of them is not getting paid. From others' perspective, they might say that these girls haven't gotten much far yet. But from my eyes, these girls are fearless, adventurous hearts. They experience life to the fullest, and are not afraid to face anything. And most of all, I love their scandals. (*wink). I missed them a lot and I thought I wanted to tell them about a lot of things. But I ended up JUST listening. I've got nothing to tell!! And that's just depressing. I listened to them with awe and pride as they tell me about their life. At the same time I feel envious, not of their experiences, but of their courage and independence. 

We all have different perspective in life. A failure to one is a success to another. It doesn't matter. I just want to experience life. The good, the bad, the fun, the sad. don't want to be like this forever. I don't want to be that old maid who listens to all her married friend's stories about the kids and husbands. Not that girl everybody treats to dinner to celebrate their promotion,but never hers.Tamang emotera lang ako eh no? Alam ko naman solution sa problem ko. I feel that there's no change around me. Why? because I don't do anything for any change to happen. Totoo naman eh. Change has to come from me. Sabi nga ni Michael Jackson sa kanta nya..

I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change

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(not mine)