Here we go again

,ako nanaman tinitira. Hays. They are on again with the board exam blabbles. What if I don’t want to take it anymore? I really don’t feel it at all. :( Like what I have been telling you guys, I'm a newly graduate and is bound to take the board examination on December. My parents are constantly nagging me to study but I just can't make myself concentrate.

I mean it was ok when I was studying it. I like being a student. It was ok and I did well. But living an actual life around it, I don’t think so. When I was in high school I wanted to take up Mass Com or Com arts. Anything connected to media, public speaking and arts. That's what I wanted. But my parents didn't saw it as a career. They thought, and still think that I would never have a future with it. I can still remember the various times I was crying at the guidance councilor’s office. Still they prevailed and it’s either Nursing Pharmacy for me. I chose Nursing.

During the course of my study, taking up Nursing didn't stop me on doing what I wanted. I joined various speaking contests to show other's what I can do, and to open the mind of my parents. I did win some.

And here's a video of one of my performances. Watch it! You’ll like it! (^_^)

Still, they wanted me to continue Nursing. During my first year, there have been periods of shouting and rebelling. But meeting new friends and the feeling of belongingness muffled the cries of my heart (getting corny here). And when I was in second year, my mom got so sick and she ended up in the ICU.  I had to be a good girl. I thought I was going to have to stop schooling eventually, (almost half a million in debt, well that’s just too much for us). But with the help of my dad’s relatives, I continued going to school. I can’t complain anymore! It would be a shame on me if I do that to my grandmothers (my dad’s aunts). I got fairly good grades in spite of it. Imagine me if I was taking the course of my choice, doing what I love! I could have been better! I would have gotten higher grades! Heck! I’d be a Cum Laude! (lol too much I think) 

As years passed by, I felt it too late to change courses. I was thinking, hell why not finish this first? Then after I graduate I’ll do what I want.

And now I have graduated. But it’s more difficult now to turn my back just like that. More expectations have come and a lot more pressure has been placed on me. It feels so frustrating! 

So here I go again with this “this is my plan” that always doesn’t happen. I’m going to take that board exam on December. After that, I think I may have done enough for them; I’m going to start a business of my own (I’m good at that too)! Maybe if I’m earning enough money they wouldn’t have to say anything more. (^_^) 

What do you think?